shit.shit.shit.

I'm becoming quite a moan lately. WARNING lots of moaning in this blog so if you're gonna moan to me about moaning do NOT read it.

Argh. Where to start?!
Changes. Changes. Changes.
Everyones changing around me and I feel a bit lost. I don't know who I can talk to anymore and as the summer nears I really can't say who I'll be seeing.. Everyone is doing there own thing and it's getting pretty hard to see them. They're probably saying the same about me but it seems the only interesting thing to do is go get drunk which isn't what I want to be doing at all. Not every day of summer anyway. I really just wanna get away from here and everyone in this place to try sort my head out but the lack of funds is making that very difficult.
Its come to the point where I can't even face school anymore. Every minute I spend in school I just want to cry.. Over dramatic.. probably but that's just how I'm feeling and nothing seems to be helping.
I'm also missing someone I was really close to but if I start hanging out with them I'm almost positive my friends won't be happy.. but if it makes me happy should their opinions matter?

Everything is confusing me between my family and my friends.
And it's hard to write anything down and even harder to talk to someone because they're more than likely not even paying attention to anything I'm saying..

My mams been pretty helpful though.. surprisingly. We usually don't talk about my personal life at all but with all this stuff building up she's noticing more and more how down I've been. It's a struggle to even get out of beds now. It's like a constant battle. I guess I'm just at that age?

I don't even know what I'm doing wrong? Maybe people are just sick of me. I'd probably be sick of me too. I can't feel happy about anything I do anymore. It's such a horrible feeling. I'd give anything to just leave everything and start over!

Guess I'll just have to hope for the best.
Fingers crossed =/
x